Feminist Men & Feminist Women
by Nyla Beth Gawel, Founding Member of Punks & Pinstripes
“Empowering those around you to be heard and valued makes the difference between a leader who simply instructs and one who inspires.” - Adena Friedman, NASDAQ CEO
This quote underscores what I value in leadership - empowering others. Yesterday we celebrated International Women’s Day 2023 with so many examples of why women’s empowerment is still a journey, filled with tough calls to action to embrace equity. So many of the posts I saw were from really bada$$ women who have defied odds, succeeded in a diverse array of missions, and serve as role models for us all. I am fortunate to have had many of these women as mentors, sponsors, and advocates. They’ve given praise, opportunities, and tough love.
I’m likewise fortunate to be supported by many men - some I’d even call feminists. These are people that not only support and empower, but also are candid about the eggshells on which they walk. I thought that in the vein of carrying Women’s Day forward to be not a single day, but everyday, I’d dig into examples that underscore the role of men and how we as women can’t bring about equity on our own. The responses left me pragmatically optimistic that we’ve come a long way and have a lot still to do. Here are a few highlights:
Share the spotlight, and better yet, focus it on others. When his research assistant proved to be super smart and offered brilliant analysis that led to the first public prediction of the 2008 financial crisis, Greg Larkin didn’t just thank her for her contribution. He made Laura Nishikawa, a Columbia Business School intern, a co-author. He ensured she was speaking to CNBC, the Wall Street Journal, and the Financial Times - not just him. “She eventually became my boss and I was thrilled for my once intern to lead me,” Greg remembers.
Learn to write - meeting tasks aren’t gender specific. Ever notice who is asked to take notes in a meeting, or even who simply brings writing instruments? Shane Stoyer sure did in advance of an important executive meeting when he observed the only woman in the room being asked to take notes. “She was more capable being a creator than many in the meeting. So I intentionally rearranged the power structure in the meeting to ensure she was front, center, and not responsible for stenography.”
Address issues systematically because bravado only goes so far. Many decisions happen ‘behind the scenes.’ We all know it - from hallway conversations to emails to who is invited to what discussion. Siddhartha Bala shares how his commitment to equity and diversity is a battle rhythm in all he does. “I often find myself operating constantly to attack systemic barriers to level the playing field and promote advancement for women. Succession planning, for example, is a place where I really focus to ensure women are front and center.”
Act like the colleague you one day want for your daughters. Many dads agreed in their response that their motivations to be a better ally to women at work comes from their daughters. “Looking through their eyes,” Greg Merrill shares, “I see it as my personal mission to help make the world one in which I’m okay having my daughters grow up.” Do as to others as you’d want done to you.
These and many other examples highlight that we all have a lot to do to make every day one in which we celebrate the successes of women (and any diverse demographic for that matter) and continue to demand more. Women celebrating women is awesome. Men empowering women is progress. My takeaway today….
The conversations are hard and men and women alike find themselves walking on eggshells. Sometimes they break under our steps. Sometimes they don’t. But if we’re going to move forward we need to embrace the uncertainty, candor, empathy, and inclusive undercurrent that enables learning. Men especially, please tread forward with an open mind, but never stop walking.
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