“THAT’S PRIDE FU**ING WITH YOU”
A LOVE LETTER ABOUT PErFORMANCE REVIEWS
“Fuck Pride!” Marsellus Wallace warns Butch Coolidge to not let pride get the better of him in the movie ‘Pulp Fiction.’
Right now, thousands of incredible leaders in banking, big tech, and consulting are waiting for their bonus to hit their bank accounts so they can quit their jobs and start the next chapter of their lives. This article is a love letter from Punks & Pinstripes to you, if you’re one of them.
Every large company is divided between preservationists and progressives. Preservationists seek continuity, self preservation and risk aversion. Progressives are energized by innovation, transformation and acceleration. The progressives have a sense of urgency about change that their preservationist colleagues do not share. Preservationists tend to hold more power in companies which are older and bigger. The tension between the preservationists and progressives boils over into a full blown civil war each year between now and the end of February during the annual review cycle. Each faction’s secret plan to accumulate more power, money, people, and prestige is put into motion.
Looking back on it now I can see that my performance reviews during my ten years on Wall Street had nothing to do with my actual performance. There was no relationship between the economic success of the products I built and the promotion or bonus I received. My “performance” was entirely a product of whether the progressive or preservationist faction was winning and whether I was deemed useful or threatening to their agenda.
Between now and the end of January thousands of executives in finance, consulting, and big tech huddle in glass conference rooms where their boss will slide an envelope across the table which contains their report card, their new job title, and the dollar amount of their bonus and compensation. If you’re a progressive in a preservationist company, then you might feel a slight sting.
The “sting” was best described in the movie “Pulp Fiction.” There’s a famous scene in which the underworld boss Marsellus Wallace sits across from the prize-fighter Butch Coolidge, whom he has just paid to throw his upcoming fight, and warns Butch to not let pride ruin the plan. “Now the night of the fight you might feel a slight sting,” Marsellus says. “That’s pride fuking with you. Fuk pride! It only hurts, it never helps…. In the 5th your ass goes down.”
At your annual review, if you’re a progressive, you might feel a slight sting.
The sting will reminisce about the moments when you were doing the best work of your life and wonder “what went wrong?”
The sting will ask “Is this the best you can do with your finite time on Earth?”
The sting will see with sudden clarity that your company’s vision for your “success” would make you miserable.
The sting tells you that it’s time to leave. Now.
There are invisible forces that drive the greatest innovators of our time out of the biggest companies in the world during this season. I make those invisible forces visible below.
Performance Reviews destroy acquired startups
You have likely heard the statistic that more than 80% of M&A fails. Performance reviews are when the wheels come off the deal. The tricky thing about an acquisition is that the company that gets acquired has to slot their people into the hierarchy of the acquirer. In order to close the deal the acquirer will promise that the startup will have autonomy, money, power, rainbows, puppies, and ice cream in their new home. For example, I was the head of product at my startup before we were acquired. I was promised that I would hold onto this role afterward. I did - until the first performance review a few months later. My salary was frozen, I was demoted, and I reported to a new boss who wore khakis, powder blue shirts, and lived in the suburbs. Every acquired startup has a similar story. Performance reviews purge the best innovation talent from acquired startups. All the preservationist political operatives in executive leadership weaponize the performance review process to remove the acquihired leaders from the executive ranks - even if they’re indispensable for the success of the deal.
Performance reviews kill technologists and innovators.
Ever wonder why nothing changes when a bank like JP Morgan or Citi makes a billion-dollar investment into AI or the blockchain or some other leading edge technology? Performance reviews are why. Inside a huge bank there’s a rigid, ancient architecture which determines the salary bands for each level of seniority and hasn’t changed very much since the 1980s. So, when a bank hires a senior technologist from Google or Amazon they have to figure out how to shoehorn them into a hierarchy that was built for bankers not technologists. And can you guess who gets to decide where to place these technologists? An old white dude who has managed their finance fiefdom with a fax machine and a filing cabinet since the Reagan Administration. This man (almost always a man) will annihilate any threat to his fiefdom, especially that asshole hotshot who just arrived from Google. If you’ve ever asked why banks spend so much on technology and remain so ass-backward, the answer is preservationists during performance reviews. The top technologists are put into their place during this time of year. By the end of February, when everyone who plans to quit has left the building you will see that 50-70% of exited talent is tech talent.
The economics of leaving are extremely promising.
It’s a logical, sensible, rational economic decision to leave if you feel the sting. The average founder age of the .1% fastest-growing startups is 45, according to data from National Bureau of Economic Research. In 2023, the average unicorn startup founder was 52 when they launched their startup. A 59 year old founder has a 300% higher probability of a successful exit than a 25 year old founder.
When you reach that age you see why older founders outperform. At age 45, you’ve been through some sh*t. You’ve gone through a few cycles of boom, bust, and rebuild. You’ve seen billion dollar problems that no one else sees. You’re less daunted by things that are terrifying to others. You know what problems are best solved by big companies, and what problems aren’t. You’ve built an extended network of people who went through hard things with you and know you’re solid and trustworthy. You have a deep understanding of what you’re uniquely good at (and bad at). You’ve probably already paid off some of your mortgage, saved for college, and funded your retirement. If this is true for you, and the sting is strong, then it makes sense to leave.
Don’t let pride fuck with you / maybe you should stay
In every company there are moments when the status quo creates a crisis of such epic proportions that the only people who can resolve the crisis are progressive business punks who never subscribed to the status quo in the first place. Major client accounts leave, a new startup steals massive market share, technology breaks, regulators issue subpoenas, one of your plants turned the Hudson River into battery acid, etc…. These crises are why huge companies need empowered innovators. We live in a messy, fast-moving, tumultuous world that loves fucking with corporate executives who sequester themselves inside a country club, thinking everything will stay the same. If that window of opportunity is opening up in your company you should suppress the sting, meditate for 90 minutes a day, and wait for your name to be called. These are the moments when empowered progressive leaders catapult huge companies into modernity. And it’s thrilling, fulfilling, and extremely lucrative to be part of it.
You are not alone
If you’re reading this and feeling the sting, you are not alone. All the members of Punks & Pinstripes have felt the same thing at some point. And we’ve taken different pathways to amazing careers afterward. Throughout January and February we’re offering free, confidential, in person group coaching sessions for innovative corporate executives who are getting ready for their next move. The members of Punks & Pinstripes who’ve raised their hands to help are astounding humans: Greg Merrill, Nike’s former Head of Transformation, David Sullivan, COO of Unqork/ former Exec Director at MetLife, Janene Jonas, CEO of RiskCreative/ex-director Strategic Consulting at Aon, Rick Kreifeldt, former CTO of Sorensen and LG, and more. Space is limited so you need to apply and tell us a little bit about where you are and where you want to go next. Email kennedy@punksandpinstripes if you’re interested.
